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A poem.

This one is especially personal. You'll be able to tell.




Check-In: 3, 13, 23, 33, 43
by Christopher Walsh, 12/1/2016 to 12/4/2016


What's been done?
We've made — so far — what?
MUCH. A lot. Plenty. The past was busy.
We recall a fraction of it, a percentage of a percentage, varied per person
As we/they live and recall more.
3-year-old me: Just starting the job of learning to remember,
In suburban comfort, Southern California version: a Rancho Bernardo cul-de-sac
With trees (one slightly climbable) and a backyard hill (definitely climbable).
13-year-old me: Four moves along from San Diego, now to Northern Virginia,
Watching planes and finding them neat and seeing girls and finding them pretty.
Head-ducked school life, as junior high began:
The frustrations of getting through/surviving school, trying (where possible) to thrive: somewhere, somehow, in some things.
Seeing the world through an evermore science-fictional filter:
Clarke-ian utopias, Serling-esque and MAX HEADROOM-style dystopias, Car Wars
(not playing: instead, reading the descriptions of a gone-to-Hell imagined future)
Not analyzing the SF, but letting it speak to me, flow into me
As I enjoy it.
23-year-old me: Coupled,
College-experienced,
(finally) Oregon-based,
About to lose a coupled-relationship
And then about to lose a best-friendship.
(Summer 1997: a tough summer.)
33-year-old me: Weathering a bad boss
(someone seemingly assembled from bits of every difficult co-worker I'd ever had)
In a needed job (in-hospital), made harder than it had to be
— Too many jobs are harder than they have to be —
But slowly connecting better to Portland
And slowly connecting better online.
A year away from quitting due to that bad boss,
And a year away from flying to friends I'd only known via online words.
My words helped me find others.
Words helped.
43-year-old me...
One month in.
The Magic 8-Ball is unclear.
Life, for several reasons, is unclear.
I wish to make it clearer.
I'm listening to Earlier Me,
To see (I hope) what I've said.
Earlier Me has learned a lot.
Earlier Me has been lower before,
Been higher before,
Gotten through before.
This should not be a revelation, or a surprise,
But I needed the reminder.

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