Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh
chris_walsh

Life on Pause

EMO WARNING. You're warned.

Right now, I'm tired. Specifically from an awkward night's sleep (nodded off with my light still on, awakened to this 'round 3:00 or 4:00; this always messes me up); more generally from this odd, not very satisfying job I've been working; and even more generally from various life stressors. Things have been draining. Leaves less energy even for figuring out interesting blog posts, let alone any more involved writing. Which is what I want and need to do.

A friend told me how one time he got out of a stressful situation -- a relationship, to be slightly more exact -- and he only truly realized how tired he was from that when the stressful relationship ended, and he spent a week sleeping for 12 hours a day. Recovering. I think I might need recovery time like that. Haven't really had a break in a while. No trip this summer, as opposed to Massachusetts and New York a year ago, San Francisco two years ago, or Virginia three years ago. Even when I was tired on those trips, it was a good kind of tired.

I'm needing to figure out some of the next steps I want to take in my life. Yes, a 35-approaching-36-year-old is wondering What do I want to do with my life? Always a needed question. And I'm having trouble answering it, while I'm tired. Gives me the feeling of having a paused life.

I'll be better. I felt I should admit what I'm feeling, have a record of it. And now, it's recorded. Okay, onward with the morning and the day...
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