Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

I wish for weird things

Wouldn't it be cool if it were possible to throw your dishes back into place?

Not throwing them to smash them, you see. I mean finding the exact right throwing speed and trajectory that a dish can fly from the dish-drying rack to its shelf and settle into place.

'Cause I like throwing things*, mind you, but not so much smashing them or causing said things to collide with other stuff, possibly damaging things or hurting people**. I also like the efficiency of not having to walk stuff from the dish rack to the shelf, deposit it, and walk back to the rack.

Maybe this would be possible under water. Yeah, the plates and bowls and glasses could move through the thicker medium, slowing down thanks to the soggy resistance, and then (if thrown with the right force) slide and clunk into place. Or thwoomp, which would be closer to the underwater sound. There would be the whole humans-can't-breathe-under-water thing to make this not work (blast), but maybe it is what mermaids do. (Not Ariel. I can't picture her being anything other than gentle, nay, dainty with her "how many wonders can one cavern hold" horde of stuff.)

I have thoughts like this all. The. Time.

* Family anecdote! Mom would make a game out of laundry. When folding up clothes, Mom would get my brother T.J. and I to help her roll up socks. Then we'd yell "Sock war!" and throw balled-up socks at each other. Even softer than Nerf balls. We did this once when one of my uncles was visiting us and he looked like he'd had the emergency thought HOLY CRAP DO I DUCK??! We surprised him.

** I somehow reconcile this with my appreciation of both wrestling and the movie Dodgeball.
Tags: creme de la chris

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