Shaved nymphomaniac crackhead groundhogs.Forgotten in the late-80s vogue of animal superheroes, exemplified by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and causing the creation of such forgotten teams as Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters, Cold Blooded Chameleon Commandos, Pre-Teen Dirty-Gene Kung-Fu Kangaroos, and Adult Thermonuclear Samurai Elephants (published in the re-named one-shot Power Pachyderms), were the animated stars of TV’s briefly-lived Shaved Nymphomaniac Crackhead Groundhogs. Understandably. But their theme song remains:
[spoken] They’re buzzed! No fuzz! And that’s because they’re:
[brief musical intro]
[sung] Shaved! Nymphomaniac! Crackhead! Groundhogs!
Get it on! What drugs we’re on! We’re
Shaved! Nymphomaniac! Crackhead! Groundhogs!
That’s not our shadow, it’s vomit! Heigh-ho!
Shaved! Nymphomaniac! Crackhead! Groundhogs!
Animal tests went wrong! Now we fight and sing songs!
Shaved! Nymphomaniac! Crackhead! Groundhogs!
Crazy! Love! From burrows to above! We're
Shaved! Nymphomaniac! Crackhead! Groundhogs!
…Kids! The Shaved Nymphomaniac Crackhead Groundhogs want to tell you, “Drugs Are Bad News!” And Knowing…Is Good.
(Audio version here!)
I considered the line “And we’re hung like horses!,” but, um…no. I also even considered having them sing “We’re coming to your town! We’ll help you party down!”
