Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh
chris_walsh

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Curse you, English language!

Yes, English, the language where noses run and feet smell, has to have "bi-monthly" mean "every two months" OR "twice a month." ISN'T TWICE A MONTH "SEMI-MONTHLY"'S JOB?! ARGH.

I referred to donating blood every two months here. Or at least I tried to. My words got in the way. I am amused, though, that the page I found via Google that answers whether "bi-monthly" means "every two months" or "twice a month" says "Unfortunately, it means both!"

Time for a glimpse into my mind: to keep straight whether I needed to say "bi-monthly" or "semi-monthly" (LET "SEMI-MONTHLY" DO ITS JOB, PEOPLE) I thought of this:
See, when I was little my mama took me on a trip to the big city. We went to one of those big, old-time department stores -- and I got lost. They tried to page her, but the P.A. systyem was on the fritz. I never saw my mama again. A few people from the lingerie department gave me some soup and some bread -- days stretched into weeks -- one day things got pretty jammed up during their semi-annual Lincoln's Birthday Sale, so, they asked me to help out in pre-teen maternity...
(Yes, that was from memory.) NOT EVEN QUOTING ZUCKER-ABRAHAMS-ZUCKER CAN HELP ME NOW.

Oh, English, you so crazy.
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