Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

Tangled up in blue

Tired, emotional post commences:

It feels like life is taking a lot out of me lately. Yesterday was -- "difficult" is overstating it. Frustrating, that's closer to correct. Then sad: I heard sad news from a good friend.

Even a big piece of good family news -- which I referred to in my vague post a couple of days ago -- ties into something in the past that makes me sad. I won't post about the part that makes me sad. Here, I'll share the good part: my cousin Rob in Denmark is a father again; he and his partner Sara have a 9-pound daughter named Olivia. Rob -- he was meant to be a father. He's a good father, and a good man. He has two children from his previous marriage. Aaaaaaaand that's as close as I'm skirting to the sad thing. But I think about the sad thing.

There's been plenty of sad and frustrating. And by the end of the day yesterday, a day with seemingly extra amounts of sad and frustrating, I felt like I'd been slightly beaten. And in case you haven't guessed, that's Not My Thing. And THEN I didn't sleep well. Once again fell asleep with the light next to my bed on, and that ALWAYS messes with my sleep. Makes it not deep enough.

I wondered if I could swing not going to work today. I probably can't. Today will be busy and, to be honest, I need the hours.

So. I'm feeling low. I'm delving for the energy to get better, to find more comfort, to improve.

You all treat me well, and treat me gently. And I appreciate that deeply. More so at moments like this. And as my friend popfiend likes to say, it's a moment, not an eternity. Things can be better.

I want things to be better.

This has been a tired, emotional post.
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