Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

therealljidol Week 7: The Topic is “Brouhaha”

(But what if I wanted a hullabaloo? grumble grumble...)

* * *

Not as much makes me make noise as you’d think. I’m often quiet. I let myself get louder at the geek events I go to -- I screamed like I was at a wrestling match when I saw Snakes on a Plane; I get loud and profane at Geek Trivia; you should see me dance and sing to Prince’s “Let‘s Go Crazy”+ -- because I feel comfortable doing so. But usually I feel comfortable being quiet, not causing a brouhaha.

As have many of you, I’ve had to be quiet many times before. At certain jobs, like the increasingly maddening temp job I spent half of 2009 at, I had to be VERY quiet, and one big reason was that no one at that office -- either people I liked or one particular person I didn’t -- “got” my sense of humor. It happens. It also was an ever-more toxic office environment where not being able to make a joke became overwhelmed by other issues, but then when I started at my current job late last year, I soon noticed that my quiet there was a comfortable quiet. The temp job had not been. I needed that.

If I start to feel like I want to start a brouhaha, I try to figure out why. And to wonder if that’s a good idea or a bad one. One idea many jobs ago, when I considered quitting my call center job (a job I later was downsized from -- the first time I’d ever been fired from a non-temp job, by the way), was that on my last day I’d skip through one particular room in the office saying “I’m free, I’m free, I’m free,” reach a back exit out of that room, turn, spread my hands in a Nixon salute and say, in my most Adam Sandler-y voice, “God bless most of you!” And then RUN for the stairs. Imagining this scenario was satisfying. It also made me wonder, “Why is that so satisfying?” And I reminded myself it would be disruptive, making the job of my co-workers perhaps a touch harder, or more, for the sake of a stunt. That I wanted to go out with a stunt, with a figurative “bang,” was a sign I managed to heed: it would be causing a fuss for the wrong reasons. So I decided not to feel that way. And I more or less felt better about the job. Until I got fired. (Which to tell properly would be wrapped up in a longer story about late 2003/much of 2004 that I don’t want to tell right now. I will tell it at some point., though.)

Being loud can be a tool used for good. It’s a tool that’s within me, awaiting further use and practice. Because, sometimes, a brouhaha is needed.

+ Note: Link is NOT to a video of me dancing, but of Prince singing and, well, Prince-ing.
Tags: lj idol
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.