Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

Nuts to my Inner Cheapskate

Libraries offer much, much. How much? So much. And for so little, unless you incur late fees.

Tomorrow the DVD set I borrowed from the library of Doctor Who Season 2, the 2006 season that introduced David Tennant as Doctor #10, is due. I'm not quite finished. And now I have to force myself not to power through the rest of it just so I can turn the DVDs back in tomorrow. I actually have to tell myself, Dude, pay. The. Late. Fee. You can afford it. It's also actually not that big a deal, no matter how much you don't want to spend extra money on what you've borrowed. You'll get it back there soon. Inner cheapskate? Shut up and stop worrying.

Because, really. Libraries don't have material-retrieval goon squads. They don't send muscle to smash through your door, grab your book shelf or DVD player and throw it to the floor so they split open like the world's flattest, driest casaba melons, pull the book or DVD out of the wreckage, slash you with the debris from what they broke and threateningly say "Let that be a lesson to you!" Libaries, they're full of people much gentler than that.

The late fee? It'll be cents. It'll be paid for with coins. They can come from my change tub. I say "tub," I mean a long-since-cleaned-out-and-repurposed tub of Land O'Lakes Fresh Buttery Taste Spread, I don't mean an actual tub. I had room for a tub, I wouldn't be filling it with coins, I'd be filling it with me. Though I'm sure someone has a whole, full tub filled with coins. Sounds kind of cool. Kind of decadent. Plus there are worse things to fill a tub with, I know. *remembers The Silence of the Lambs*

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