It's possible to feel better. It's possible to be more "present," more engaged.

Right now I don't feel very engaged. I feel scattered.

Getting past that is taking some work, most of which I'd rather not get into at the moment, because I want to make some progress and then say "Here's how I've gotten better."

I can say this: I'm working on being better connected one-on-one to people I know in person. I feel like I'm doing better at that; I wasn't doing as well as that for a bit, and I started working to improve, and I've seen progress already. But I have not done as well as that online lately; I've commented little, except on Twitter where I feel looser, less afraid of saying the wrong thing, and more capable of being funny. But feeling better is a serious goal. And as much as I like to joke, I am taking this seriously, because I want to feel better.

This entry isn't a plea for comments, because I might have trouble reciprocating. This should be on me, not on you. And I'm working on it.