I'm not a praying person by nature. I've done it occasionally; certainly there are circumstances where I am with people who pray, and I join in to an extent; but, whether in those cases or on my own, I am more likely to think a general, not-directed-at-God thought.
I don't want to feel like a hypocrite.
A religious mom; a mostly agnostic dad; and neither tried to indoctrinate me into how they view the world. I did go to church at times, and take part in church activities -- in sixth grade I was part of a church chorus that did the Noah's Ark story as the musical 100% Chance Of Rain -- but I didn't feel forced to do so. I also didn't feel drawn to do so. And I shouldn't pretend otherwise, even when with people who do pray.
Act. Act on it. Act to get closer towards what you hope to reach.
Religion is a big deal, no matter what or for who. It influences so much about how we relate to the world. I sometimes forget that, until I return to Northern Virginia and see the number of churches near where I used to live. Or until I watch an episode of The Simpsons, including a moment where the Simpson family prays, with someone who grew up in Russia when it was still part of the religion-suppressing U.S.S.R. Made me wonder about his thoughts on that moment, and also made me think Oh, yeah: there's a lot of religion in my part of the world. I just tend not to see it.
I'm not the sort of agnostic who says much about it. I sometimes wonder what to make of people who do say much about it, whether "it" is deep religious belief or deep atheism. I've encountered jerks of both persuasions, the "if you don't agree with how I view this huge thing, then you're wrong" kind of jerks. But is my position a wishy-washy one? Sometimes it is. It's a non-committing, non-position position.
Because I don't know...but I don't know if I've done enough thinking on the subject for that to be the most truly honest answer, even just for me.
Work on it. Get on a path and move along it.
But...we aren't meant to stay still. I've long known that. I've been good at knowing that. Walk and process what I'm thinking -- it's my habit, even when I lived in the not-walker-friendly Northern Virginia suburbs or Hermiston, Oregon. A long walk is what I did after learning that Douglas Adams had died. Another long walk happened the night in late 2003 that I learned my dad's mother had terminal cancer. Even my dreams have much walking. I move my feet there, going around (almost always on foot) the created environments my mind concocts in the middle of the night.
A work in progress.
Life takes work. It takes thinking about how you're doing it. It takes thinking about how you're doing it well and how you're doing it badly. (I've been very aware lately of how I've doing it badly, or, at least, less-well-ly. I'm working on that. I want to be living life better.) You hope for it to be joyous work, fulfilling work, happy-making work...but it is work. Work you are capable of accomplishing.
When you pray, move your feet. That could also be When you hope, move your feet.
This is my first entry for Season 8 of LJ Idol (therealljidol). Next week I ...well, I don't know what will happen once this topic closes. Usually there's a poll where people vote for the writers they want to move on to later weeks of the contest, but we've heard no word that that's the plan for this topic. Stay tuned.