I probably couldn't pull off the no-mustache stubble Sam Elliott has in Road House, either.
Other facial hair styles I can't do: Anything curled. The handlebar. Anything dark; dyed facial hair on me would probably look like I'd Sharpie'd it on, so I'll keep my reddish-blondeish-white facial hair. Also? Anything long. (My facial hair only grew long the first time I did it, back in college, and I got compared more than once to the lead singer of the Spin Doctors.) Or an evil Van Dyke, like in Mirror Universe Star Trek. My Van Dyke is, apparently, inviting.
Unless, perhaps, for potential future employers.
Yep, I've gone clean-shaven again. Cleaning up for the upcoming job hunt. Maybe it's a false need, maybe people looking to hire me wouldn't mind that I had facial hair, and it's not like I have F YOUR YANKEE BLUE JEANS tattooed (in Comics Sans) across my forehead, but -- cleaning up, for now, is a good idea. Simplify my look. I'll also probably get a haircut today, and I want to be sure my hair on top of my head looks balanced with the rest of my head. Going clean-shaven removes a variable.
Though because I like having facial hair -- something I thought would look awful on me, until college when I finally grew a fair amount of it -- the Van Dyke will someday return. Not the mustache, though. I tried that once. That will be the only time.
Clean-Shaven Chris is clean-shaven. And is waiting for the sadness of the several people who like how Chris looks with a Van Dyke.