This morning I had off -- I had been scheduled for work starting this afternoon, but things changed and I'll work instead tomorrow -- and it was the best time for me to do an errand related to whether or not I get unemployment. And...I dillydallied. First I woke up too early and couldn't get back to sleep, then I had trouble motivating myself to get ready. I knew I had a relatively loose time window for hitting the road and doing the errand, which required I drive to Gresham. I told myself blowing this off would be a bad idea; I don't know enough about my schedule the next couple of weeks to know another time when I could do it.
I was having a case of the Me-No-Wannas. I felt like I was going to have to jump through hoops, and that it would feel like nothing more than jumping through hoops. I also was rebelling a bit against having to do something. But seriously, I motivated myself to finally do it -- and I did it, then got home to find my work schedule had changed so I wouldn't work today -- by remembering this recurring line from the 1988 film Tapeheads:
"You do what you gotta do so you can do what you wanna do."
Yep. I can do more of the stuff I like to do when I'm earning more money. SOMEHOW THIS MORNING I WAS NOT REALIZING THIS. Now I have more of a chance to earn that sometimes-elusive more money.
Hey, whatever it takes for me to Get Over My Crap, I'd better do. And now I've mobilized more resources to find a more permanent job.
Another way I motivated myself? Seriously? One of the people I follow on Twitter is Chad Ochocinco, now of the New England Patriots (and formally of the Cincinnati Bengals and, before that, Oregon State University). Maybe I like that he's often moody (and funny about it); and I definitely appreciate how big a personality he is. So, here's an actual thought I've had: Dude, you don't think Ochocinco's thinking a lot about what he'll do after football? He's gonna keep working and keep earning, and he's gonna have a plan for that. Why can't you do that? Not that I'm ever going to earn NFL money, but I don't need to. I just need to earn.
Child, please (as Ochocinco would say); get over yourself.
More work tomorrow. Then more work after that.