Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh
chris_walsh

I apologize in advance to both Ridley Scott and Mark Knopfler

My mind's been remembering the opening of Prometheus wrong. I know what happens, what's being pictured -- a ridiculous number of millennia ago, aliens called "Engineers" reach Earth and do something that will make intelligent life here possible, so that in the future the intelligent life that results (i.e., us) decides to travel 34 light-years to a planet where there may be signs of more life, but it being a horror film bad shit happens -- and it's lovely and moving and shot so beautifully that I almost want to describe the visuals through poetry.

But my mind's mashing up the imagery with the opening of the Dire Straits song "Telegraph Road." Which is kind of an epic song, but in a much different way than Prometheus is trying to be. But the thing is, the opening synthesizer tune in the song, all the stuff before the guitar starts, fits the film's opening, its mood. But not the lyrics. We can't blame the aliens for all of the signs saying Sorry but we're closed.

To make it fit, you'd need lyrics like these:

A long time ago, there was no one at all
No one who was human on this small floating ball
Wasn't even called Earth, there were no human ears
But that would change thanks to Engineers...
So there's that one by a waterfall, it does something painful almost makes it bawl
New DNA gets all over the land, and sometime after doing that, the planet does get "manned..."
Then evolution, then a spaceship of course, then body horror, then xenomorphs...


..."Sod it," Mark Knopfler says, "those are the wrong lines. Sorry, I'll start over." *starts properly playing the song* "Hey, I know better than to rhyme anything with 'xenomorphs'..."
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