Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

Even less likely to lose the facial hair right now

Slow-motion breakdowns. They can almost be funny.

Two years ago I bought a new electric shaver. The one I'd had for 14 years (yes I remember it that precisely; it was a gift from then-girlfriend Alicia, who preferred me clean-shaven) simply died the death, and needed to go to a proper burial and replacement. Plus I was working in an office for what is sometimes a billion-dollar company; looking scruffy was not an option.

First bad sign was when, less than a year after getting the new shaver, one of the three heads fell out.

Two-thirds cutting power was still enough, and I got good at angling the thing so that the still-wanting-to-spin part just below where the third head had been wouldn't poke me. Then the shaver lost some of its charge-holding ability, and unlike the previous shaver, plugging it straight into the wall socket didn't give it enough power to cut my face-hair; it had to recharge. I adapted.

Since then, the shaver's flip-up trimmer (good (when it works) for shortening the relatively long follicles in my facial hair or sideburns) stopped working, and today one of the two remaining spinning heads on the top of the shaver stopped spinning. I could see the blades moving, then not see them move at all. Like I had slow-down vision! Except it was something slowing down in reality. I tested. The last head still cuts. I'll work around the shaver's limits a little more! It can do it! "It" being "neaten up my face a bit."

And this is still not as bad as the electric shaver I had to get rid of in late 1992, during my first term of college, because it got jammed and literally tried to eat itself. I turned it on (pointing it away from my face, I hope) and saw little bits of metal disappearing into it. Made me glad those little bits of metal weren't going out, but hell no I wasn't going to put that against my face. The result, happily, was learning I could grow a nice Van Dyke. Heck, sometimes over the next year the goatee part of my Van Dyke grew out almost to Chris Barron-of-Spin Doctors length and bushiness. I'd worried that facial hair would look awful on me; I was glad to be wrong. Gave me another style option!

All this reminds me that I've never used a straight razor. I then wonder How cruel is it to shave with a straight razor early in the morning? Can you ever be awake enough for that?

I want better luck with my technology. Also, now I want there to be a pub named The Hobbled Shaver.

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