So earlier this afternoon I'm crossing the picturesque Hawthorne Bridge over the picturesque Willamette River in the middle of picturesque Portland (by the way, I'm liking the word "picturesque") when I see a family walking near me. The kid at the front of their group wields a light saber.
I go into a tae kwon do stance.
Then I say "Shoot. That wouldn't work against that."