It's been over a year since she and I had seen each other, and we don't usually go that long between visits. We like seeing each other. Luckily (I consider it lucky), after we figured out we weren't good as a couple, we figured out we were good as friends. That's lasted farrrrrrrrr longer than the "couple" portion of our relationship.
And it's partly why I apologized, because the last time I visited Alicia, I was (this is the word I used with her) distracted.
That last visit, I was about to see another friend. Some of you will guess who the friend is; some of you know. That friend is someone I, a few years ago, had intense feelings about. That friend is, also luckily, someone I remain fond of and close to, though I figured out really quickly in her case that I'd need to stop having intense feelings about her. (Yeah: those kinds of intense feelings. Maybe not as intense as you think they might have been, but intense.) While hanging out with Alicia, I was thinking ahead to that next in-person visit I'd have that day. That next visit that day? Went fine, better than fine in fact, but almost as soon as I hit the freeway to head home to Portland that night, I realized that by being so focused on that visit, I'd slighted Alicia.
I wanted to apologize. It felt like an apology I should do in person. I made sure to do so today. Alicia thanked me for that and accepted it. She'd noticed that's how I'd been that day. I did better today. A lot better.
Today included helping Alicia run an errand to Goodwill, since she had stuff she didn't need that made sense to donate, then getting online at the Eugene Public Library (yay free wifi!), then having lunch at the Eugene location of Sizzle Pie, and finally having a blast at the nicely over-the-top giant-robots-versus-giant-monsters movie Pacific Rim. I left the theater later having to force myself not to walk like the 25-story-tall Jaegers from that film.
We're good. And I can be better.
Be good. Then be better. (Always worth a reminder.)