Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh
chris_walsh

The relative value of different types of crates

The success of Loot Crate of course would breed imitators!

Root Crate: just add soil and water, and "grow your own" can cover even more
Boot Crate: actually a possibly workable idea, based on the people I know who like boots
Hoot Crate: when you want the sound of owls without having to look at those eyes
Yoot Crate: fails after the tasteless ad where the late Fred Gwynne says "What's a Yoot?"
Scoot Crate: "Smallest scooter ever! No, smaller than that. Wait, where are you going..."
Suit Crate: steam-irons the suits by delivering crates through Honduras
Flute Crate: will be a success once they're humidity controlled (wait, the company's delivering crates through Honduras)
Newt Crate: a little unreliable, because deliveries mostly come at night...mostly
Glute Crate: a failure, because people found easier ways to get some ass
Zoot Crate: crates were too large to be practical
Sew Crates: "Sewing is a most excellent diversion," say spokespeople Bill and Ted (it fails, though: too heavy)
Groot Crate: it's OK, enough of Groot grows back after making each one to be sustainable
Exeunt Crate: too many people heard it and thought, "Gesundheit"
Ute Crate: too niche, until the rest of the Pac12 starts to notice
Poot Crate: "Like the smell of your own farts? Share!"
Coot Crate: you don't want just any old man to yell at a cloud...
Pollute Crate: in trouble from Day One
Moot Crate: pointless
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments