Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

Eye Contact

Yesterday, while talking with someone I've known (and had good dealings with, in person and online) for years, I realized I was not making much eye contact. We were in the shop she manages, catching up on work news; we can find a decent number of subjects to talk about. There was a lull in business, so we weren't going to get interrupted and I wasn't too much of a distraction from her duties, some of which she could carry on doing while we talked. It was a comfortable chat, which didn't get uncomfortably long...

...and one during which I had to tell myself: It's OK to make eye contact.

I was surprised I had to think that.

I've known people whose eye contact was almost scary, it was so intense. I don't think I have that kind of look, let alone that kind of stare, but I was acting like I did. I know intense eye contact can be scary, can be disconcerting; I don't want to cause that feeling. But I'd overcompensated.

I was talking to someone who's attractive, it's true. I'm lucky to know many people who are attractive, in a wide variety of ways. But I don't want to be a jerk about that, or to take advantage of that. I know I can. I try not to. That whole "ever trying to be a better person" thing: it's a good habit.

Plus a reminder to myself: with too little eye contact, I could possibly have missed cues that any chat was going sideways on us. That didn't happen this time, but it could have.

I paid attention to my eye contact when I visited with people today. Made sure I was doing it in a comfortable way, for me and for whomever I spoke with. Felt like brushing-up. Felt right.

  • A journey in prose: "The Grapes of Wrath"

    Reading John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath, a story of my country having a very hard time, while my country (and most of the world) is having a…

  • I did it!

    Okay, this is a fine example of a small victory, but we find what victories we can in this pandemic time... In the early Nineties, I read and was…

  • The pleasures of a big story

    In, I think, 1991, I first read Frank Herbert's Dune. I do know I read it on one of my trips to Oregon (I still lived in Virginia at the time), but…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment