Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh
chris_walsh

...sometimes I think I should learn how to write for The Onion.

Latest headline doesn't tell you what the fuck to feel

SOMEWHERE — Something happened. Happened, past tense. Means we can report it. "Something happened." In a shocking twist, the headline describing this thing doesn't say how you should react to the thing, doesn't have a colorful word in all-caps like "DESTROYED" or "PSYCHED," doesn't have exclamation points (not a one, let alone three or two), and has no unrelated photo next to it of an attractive woman or an ugly piece of food, it simply says, paraphrased, "Something happened." This is what headlines should do, quickly convey info considered newsworthy. The above tactics are used online to get you to click on links to stories so sites get more page views. They have nothing to do with the newsworthiness of the story.

In other news, something happened. Which, in fact, on its own would be a terrible headline.
Tags: fiction
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