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These things, I believed

• When I was a kid and heard the radio ads for Stripes, I thought the marching troops yelled "That's a bad check!" (They yelled "That's a fact, Jack!")
• I thought mulch was quicksand. Made me very careful in people's yards.
• Somehow, for my first few years as a "Weird Al" Yankovic fan, I could not grasp that anyone else could do (or was allowed to do, I guess) song parodies. Meant that when a Virginia Beach musician parodied "Electric Ave." to be about Atlantic Ave., I was convinced it had to really be Al.
• I worried after seeing The Goonies that people would assume stuff about me because my last name, like Sean Astin and Josh Brolin's family in that, is Walsh.
• I was sure that I could get lead poisoning from newsprint. (This was before I became a regular reader of newspapers.) My third grade teacher had to tell me, while I was crying in school, that no, I can't get poisoned by that.
• Before I started learning to wash dishes, I'd think Licking plates clean is enough, right?
• I thought, when I visited certain places, that north was south and east was west. I got turned around very easily.
• I thought Congressional term limits were a good idea, and I voted for them in 1992, my first election. It's my one big vote I'd take back.
• I thought I'd hate nuts. Didn't eat them until I was dating Alicia and her mom would have a bowl of pistachios at the house. Luckily, I have no nut allergies. (I'd thought I'd dislike notes mainly because I was never a big fan of peanut butter. I'd eat it, but without much pleasure.)
• I once seriously thought I'd, briefly, levitated.


...I can learn better. I can change my mind.