Sometimes I feel like all the things I want to say are pointless, not worth saying. Or are self-serving, and justification-filled. Or are pretentious: oh, whoa, can I be pretentious if I'm not careful.
So I try to be careful. I like to think I'm good at that.
Means that I'm slowly getting better at Knowing What To Say. And at the related skill of Not Saying Something Simply To Say Something. My self-imposed filters have improved: ...You wouldn't add to the conversation by saying [xyz]. ...This person needs to hear reassurance, not your attempt at a joke. ...This is the wrong audience for that. ...Save that thought for Person A, not Person B. I want to be more thoughtful, and I think I'm managing to do so. I hope.
I admire good writers, and good speakers. People who are good enough at it to get paid for it. I got paid for it, for a few years. Made me better appreciate when I read what's well-written and hear what's well-said. Eventually, maybe I can get paid again for how I write. I'd most likely be doing paid writing as a sideline to other work, not as a full-time job — it was hard to get a full-time writing job in the Nineties, when I managed it, and it's harder now — but as a supplement, that may be more likely.
But I'll write and speak no matter what. Yeah, it's a habit. It's why blogging has been a good idea for me.
Certain people I know, I skim by what they say on, for instance, Facebook, and my biggest reason for doing so is this: They aren't really adding anything thoughtful. They make the easy jokes. They seem to speak without thinking. They get predictable. I keep wanting to say "I've heard that. What else can you add?"
What else can you add? And what else can I add?
