April 24th, 2009

TOS: NCC-1701

"Would Klingons SWEAR?! Is profanity honorable?"

Yes. They would. And yes. It's honorable.

Stovokor: rocking AND informative! (And their lead singer has one partially amputated arm. A one-handed Klingon. HOW METAL IS THAT? ("One-handed Klingon" sounds like code for something.))

The thing is, I went to last night's free concert at the Mission Theater & Pub by Stovokor -- Portland's premier Klingon metal band (as in I wouldn't be surprised if there's more than one) -- and they sang about destruction (in a song called "Destruction") and the Klingon code of honor and war and how Star Trek is despicable propaganda to make humans hate Klingons. Oh, and they sang all this in Klingon. The actual invented language. Klingon sounds like someone threw a bunch of knives into German. Stovokor's one English-language song was about what one must do to prepare for enslavement on the Klingon penal asteroid of Rura Penthe. So when I'm enslaved by the Klingons, I'll be ready!

Oh, you ask, what about the educational bit? After the show I asked the lead singer about Klingon profanity as he waited to buy beer (a poor substitute for bloodwine, but it's a human bar). Turns out there is a great grand tradition of Klingon profanity (there's just so little swearing on Star Trek, I guess I never noticed) but that their profanity don't translate well into Federation Standard (i.e. English). "A great Klingon slur is 'Your mom's forehead is smooth,'" he said. "It lacks a punch in your tongue," he added. He did not then punch me in the tongue, but his arms -- and, erm, hand -- were full.

I listened to Klingon death metal last night. At some level, I'm still boggling. (It took me a while to get in the mood for it, too. Kind of an odd and "off" day yesterday, but I needed the dose of insanity Stovokor gave to leaven the oddness and "off"-ness.)

And something even neater happened.


It's Saturday, May 2nd in Tigard. I am SO there. And I'll get to that theater early, too! Nothing like the Watchmen shenanigans!

Edited To Add: Photo proof of the event, c/o Geek in the City.