May 12th, 2009

Alt!Scotty

PROFANITY INVOLVED.

First of all, a related pimp: Can you think of 15 films you'd call among the worst ever made? Tell my friend Adam! Adam Fromm, a.k.a. slipjig, is compiling names for a "Worst Movies Ever Made" bracket battle. Deadline is tomorrow at midnight Eastern time. Submit!

Now on to the "PROFANITY INVOLVED" portion of the program! I gave Adam my 15 suggestions, as much off the top of my head as possible. I included last year's The Spirit. I called it
The Spirit, a.k.a. Frank Miller Shitting On His Friend Will Eisner's Work With Full-Body Diarrhea. (Really. He even sweated out shit.)
Whale fluke

One of those chats I and Me sometimes have.

Chris? Hi, it's Chris. You've heard of me.

Good time to remember a relationship thing:

Your female friends? Worthy people. The women you've known and found attractive? Worthy people. The women you've known, found attractive, and had crushes on? Worthy women. (I hope at least one Someone just blushed.) The woman you've known, found attractive, and in fact felt strongly enough about to date for a very significant year-and-a-half? A worthy woman. She wouldn't be your friend going on 10 years now if she wasn't. (For those who came in late, this is Alicia I'm talking about. We dated from January 1996 to July 1997, had almost no contact for another year-and-a-half, and then reconnected in early '99 because she wrote me a letter asking if I felt OK about trying to be friends again. And we have been ever since.)

Chris, you have good woman radar. You find good women. A lot of good women like being in your circle of friends. You've made women part of your life for all of your life. Sometimes you've practically been the straight equivalent of the Gay Best Friend, if that makes any sense.

When you once again find someone interesting enough to ask out on a date, whether she says "yes" or "no," it's a high freakin' chance she'll be a worthy woman, too. You're not going to completely lose it and go after someone wrong for you on the level of Leia to Luke. Or (more wrong!) Lola to Humbert. If you are actually worried about that, DON'T. Relax, instead. Just be open to the possibility, and let it be a possibility. Make yourself open to that.

Because you have the ability to be one hell of a good partner to someone.

Hear me? Good.

I like having these little chats.

Sincerely,
Chris
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