May 21st, 2009

Whale fluke

Aaron Duran unleashes his inner Angry Fanboy...

...and writes a spoiler-heavy Terminator: Salvation review that's probably more entertaining than the film itself:
So Skynet nuked the humans because it became self-aware and decided to wipe out humanity. Something we’ve been told in the first movie, 20 episodes of The Sarah Conner Chronicles, the second movie, countless flipping comics, and the third movie. Oh, but this time, we get Danny Elfman doing his best impersonation of Orbital. Seriously, we get it, Skynet hates us. All robots hate us. Just start the damn movie already.

More than that happens in this movie.

I know, but I don’t really care. I mean, we were totally promised a full on human versus robot wars. All we got was Christian Bale bouncing between pissed off and pouty-face. You know what, if I were Michael Ironside, I would have blown off this John Conner as well. The guy sucks. Follow him as the savior of humanity? Frak that.

What worked in Terminator Salvation?

McG is really good at film[ing] crap that explodes. He isn’t at Michael Bay levels of awesome, but the dude had potential. Also, the movie sounds really great. Seriously, whenever the robots slowly turn their heads and go all red-eye squinty at the humans, they sound awesome! Like is Optimus Prime was all constipated and went for one big energon push. Just. Like. That.

Hey, come on now, my family reads this site.

Yeah, well it is my family too and I can promise a couple of them laughed their butts off on that Transformer bowel movement joke. Anyway, all the women in this movie are super hot, even Darla, who clearly survived her relationship with Tyler Durden and went into bio-mechanics, or something...
NCC-1701 Nebula 1

I think this title's mostly filler

Long day -- for kind of stress-y work reasons at first and then for better reasons later. (I said in the office "Today seems to be my day for mistakes." I'm correcting them, thank goodness.) I made sure to do good things after work:
  • I went to the library and watched video of my friend elionwyr skydiving for charity. Whoa. My friends are impressive and do impressive things.

  • I went to the Hawthorne Powell's and picked up books I'd ordered with Christmas money, including Palimpsest by Catherynne Valente, a.k.a. catvalente. (By the way, how did Cat celebrate her 30th birthday? Selling a hardcover novel to Tor.) octoberland will be happy to know one of the books I got was Theodore Sturgeon's Some of Your Blood, which I've meant to read for years. And some of the other books will be gifts for two particular someones reading this. Hi, someone reading this! *waves*

  • I should mention the Powell's thing took longer than either I or three whole Powell's employees expected, on account of the cashier's computer going mental on us and not wanting to complete the order. (Now I'm thinking of the computer going No! He can't have those! They're mine! That's probably not what happened.) Luckily I was in no hurry. It took all four of us figuring out stuff to get around the problem, which was probably pure glitch. (Or the computer was in a mood. Hey, I still wouldn't rule it out.) I thanked the people who helped me and moved on.

  • Getting home was an easy process, too. Walking works, and my bus pass works.
  • I've earned a long night's sleep.

    P.S. The reason for the subject line? Last night I watched the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode. And I couldn't think of a title.