August 11th, 2010

Blow My Mind

A head start on Dirty Old Man experience

"I married this 11-year-old girl for all the wrong reasons!" -- Chris Griffin in Family Guy
I rarely dream about specific people. So it sticks out when I do. Especially when it's a sex dream.

I can think of three dreams. One was about a co-worker from the call center (Huh. I first wrote that "cell") where I worked from 2001 to 2004. Another, a few years ago, was about Mean Girls-era Lacey Chabert -- or at least Not Another Teen Movie-era Chabert, but yes, it was definitely her. Most recently -- in fact, mentioned very obliquely here (that answers your question, popfiend!) -- it was an actress from Lost.

It was Tania Raymonde. Who I first saw when I was barreling through the first four seasons of Lost starting last November. And who was 17 when she started on the show.

As one of my "types," apparently, is "angular with an interesting nose," I immediately found her compelling. I referred to her as "starter-kit Claudia Black," who I've found attractive since first seeing her in Pitch Black*. Some months after that, I imagined Raymonde in an intense way. Fairly straightforward imagery, in fact, but such imagery doesn't have to be exotic to be intense.

I then thought about knowing how young she was when I first noticed her. (Claudia Black at least is close to my age.) As obnoxious an ogler as I can be, I do try to be careful about who I ogle, especially out and about among people. I'm looser about this when watching media, as so many of the people in films and TV are (to borrow a phrase I read in Rolling Stone) "the professionally good-looking," but still try not to go for those Too Young For Me. (I had similar thoughts when I saw the 17-year-old Jessica Alba in Idle Hands, and I saw that when I was 26.)

Yeah, I know after a certain age, people are legal. I'm still perhaps overly sensitive to "robbing the cradle?" smart-ass cracks; as I've said before, I got a fair number of those when I started dating Alicia, who was 19 and I 22. I felt a little looser about my reaction to Tania Raynonde when I learned she'd dated Jeff Goldblum (born 1952) after working with him on Law & Order: Criminal Intent. He knew she was legal! (And not just because he plays an investigator!) But I figure any increased age difference would, in my case at least, mean more work to make a relationship work (even in a hypothetical relationship that's never going to happen because I have next-to-no connection to Hollywood). I know myself well enough to know that. And relationships, I figure, shouldn't feel too much like work. I save little thoughts and revelations like this in my database for "when I'm in a relationship again."

Also, I admit this as part of my continuing effort to keep myself honest. I want to enjoy sexiness, not be creepy about it. And most of the time, I do enjoy it. Oh yes I do. If I feel myself creeping towards creepiness, I try to correct.

Keep enjoying sexiness, people.



* I can easily picture Claudia Black playing reporter Christiane Amanpour. She has the look and could do the accent...
  • Current Mood
    confused maybe overly honest
Blow My Mind

(Some of) the truth about Blackstar Warrior!

That trailer for the legendary long-lost blaxploitated-Star Wars film Blackstar Warrior? Y'know, the one I told you about, including links to that documentary about it? If you guessed that there was no way this film could've been real, you were right. THE REALITY IS ITS OWN KIND OF COOL.

Blackstar Warrior is the brainchild of writer and blaxploitation appreciator David Walker, a.k.a. Bad Azz Mofo, and director Matt Haley. They wrote and shot it in Portland very quietly. Walker created, I think, a pretty credible rationale for how such a movie could have existed, which is so important when doing alt-history stuff like this. Making your created stuff fit into remembered history is delicate business. It's one of the reasons the movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine is so bad, because (for example) it recreates at least one huge event of the 1970s badly and sloppily. We would've remembered if history had happened like that! But Walker and Haley slip their film into the 1970s gently, smoothly, caressingly... (Heh. Got carried away there.)

I got in on what was happening last week, talking to Walker at the Bagdad before Jurassic Park, so I first watched the trailer knowing what was up with it. What I didn't notice is that someone I know is in it! Remember the female Stormtroopers? The one on the right is local gallery proprietor, performer and photography model Merrick Monroe, who I run into at many events. I wish I'd spotted her on my own. Of course, I get to spot her in reality, and I am not saying that as a complaint. She's good people.

Walker admits the reality behind Blackstar Warrior in this Bad Azz Mofo entry and gives much more detail in yesterday's episode of The Cort and Fatboy Show, where he also laments that the blaxploitation craze didn't last long enough for real blaxploitation Star Warses or Alien films to happen. (By the way, Walker is the only person in that documentary who appears as himself. It's a meta-moment that he, I'm sure, was happy to take part in. And there's even more messing-with-reality tied into this that I won't spoil for you. All I'll say is that Blackstar Warrior got mentioned on a local TV show, including a detail that -- isn't what it appears to be.)

Being a fan and friend of David Walker, and enjoying what he and Haley did, I want this to lead to Things That Are Cool for the both of them. A calling card is what it is. May someone call.