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December 19th, 2013

Egad! Bad ad!

I can pretend to be annoyed by anything. Because a) I write a lot and b) I get annoyed a lot. Let's pretend.

A mattress company in Portland has disappointed me with their ads. They used to have the slogan "Have a good night's sleep on us." Now it's "Have a good night's sleep for less." FOR LESS. Must've been too much of a double entendre the old way, huh? They just COMPLETELY DISMISSED the pervert demographic!

And now in an apparent quest to be adorable, this mattress company's latest radio ad features talking dogs. Not that I could tell at first, because I COULDN'T TELL WHAT THE VOICE ACTORS WERE SAYING AT THE START OF IT. So I could just tell they were talking someones, but someones that were speaking in broad sort-of-British accents like off-off-off-off-Broadway Dickens. A boy-puppy and a guy-dog are at one of the stores. Is there any point to them being dogs? NOT SURE. What do dogs care of mattress deals? And then the boy-puppy says "Look at all the red tags." DOGS ARE COLOR-BLIND. The implausibilities just add up and up.

THIS IS WHY YOU DO NOT WANT MY MIND.