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January 11th, 2016

I wrote a thing.

Sometimes fiction comes out of me. Sometimes poetry. Sometimes...oh, something like this.

You're welcome. Maybe.


* * * * * * *


R8
by Christopher Walsh


Consider the life of Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo.

His name honors seven generations of Ruffalos. The ones still alive are honored.

His name is unique. No one will ever again be named Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo.

It is strangely comforting, saying it. It's almost a mantra. People have fallen asleep during it.

As he grew up, saying his full name showed that his parents were truly serious about having words with him. "Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo!" Luckily, for him and for them, he was a well-behaved child.

He never shied away from his name, even despite the resulting weirdness of class roll call.

"Hi," he'd tell people. "I'm Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo. Call me..." — he'd pause, then smile — "...Call me Rate." He sometimes spelled his name R8. He'd adapt.

(Also, Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo was good at math.)

He never went out for sports, to the relief of uniform makers.

Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo welcomed the rise of debit cards, so he wouldn't have to write checks. Credit cards and contracts, though, were still a slight pain.

He was fine with his wife keeping her name, of course. (And there were nicknames, between only them, also of course. In some ways, Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo was private.)

His name could make an entrance before he did. So he lived up to it.

Consider the death of Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo Ruffalo. Eventually, it had to happen. Not, thank goodness, while he or anyone else was saying his name. The end just came, with warning, with time for family and friends and honored related Ruffalos to gather at his bedside. It was a good life, and it ended well.

And his name lives on whenever someone mishears it as "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

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