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January 22nd, 2018

These things, I believe

• Most of us can walk farther than we think.
• It helps to try and make people around you more comfortable.
• A good way to drive out songs that have earwormed you? Listen to James Bond themes.
• Here's why I want to say "technically" less: that word often is a fancier "actually," and I've mostly stopped saying "actually" (as well as "Well, actually...").
• Most on-Facebook attempts at humor are lame. And I think it's more than a Sturgeon's Law thing: it's like the format flattens out attempted jokes. BE FUNNIER, PEOPLE.
• Nasal strips at night. Really helpful. Seriously.
• "Tyrannosaurus Rex" is a much, much cooler name than "T. Rex." I don't care that "T. Rex" is easier to say. (Oh, yeah, I've never been a big fan of the Jurassic Park films.)
• Laughing helps.
• A good diner is a source of comfort.
• Saying what you mean and meaning what you say: a good habit. And, like telling the truth, makes it easier to keep track of what you've said.
• It's worth it, trying to walk more.

These things, I believed

• When I was a kid and heard the radio ads for Stripes, I thought the marching troops yelled "That's a bad check!" (They yelled "That's a fact, Jack!")
• I thought mulch was quicksand. Made me very careful in people's yards.
• Somehow, for my first few years as a "Weird Al" Yankovic fan, I could not grasp that anyone else could do (or was allowed to do, I guess) song parodies. Meant that when a Virginia Beach musician parodied "Electric Ave." to be about Atlantic Ave., I was convinced it had to really be Al.
• I worried after seeing The Goonies that people would assume stuff about me because my last name, like Sean Astin and Josh Brolin's family in that, is Walsh.
• I was sure that I could get lead poisoning from newsprint. (This was before I became a regular reader of newspapers.) My third grade teacher had to tell me, while I was crying in school, that no, I can't get poisoned by that.
• Before I started learning to wash dishes, I'd think Licking plates clean is enough, right?
• I thought, when I visited certain places, that north was south and east was west. I got turned around very easily.
• I thought Congressional term limits were a good idea, and I voted for them in 1992, my first election. It's my one big vote I'd take back.
• I thought I'd hate nuts. Didn't eat them until I was dating Alicia and her mom would have a bowl of pistachios at the house. Luckily, I have no nut allergies. (I'd thought I'd dislike notes mainly because I was never a big fan of peanut butter. I'd eat it, but without much pleasure.)
• I once seriously thought I'd, briefly, levitated.


...I can learn better. I can change my mind.

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Chris Walsh

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