March 30th, 2020

I listen

Slow progress is still progress

"Does this need to be in my nightstand?" is a thought I've had today. I've been cleaning and sorting. Two days ago I bagged up a load of to-be-recycled paper, and that was satisfying. Yesterday, I didn't get back to that job, and that was...not. I wanted to make some progress today. I did. A very little bit of progress.

Some stuff's a little neater now. The main thing in my nightstand is a pile of to-be-read comic books, instead of sitting on other surfaces in my room. Some of my unused and partly-used notebooks are in one place. Some books and notebooks that were shelved awkwardly are now shelved less awkwardly, which is still progress. And I wiped up two particular problem areas that were very dusty. So. Some progress. Some.

And I realized that I was hoping to get rid of more stuff, the way I was Saturday. I didn't do nearly as much today. Instead, for instance, I dug up a marker set that is at least 25 years old, if I got it in college (more if I got it in high school), and: whadduya know? The markers still mark! And there are art pencils that are still able to be used. Now at least I know they're useful. Not just useful at taking up space.

We all know: getting stuff Done is a way to fight the weird, difficult feelings so many of us are feeling right now. I was hit by some of that yesterday; the day was frustrating and unsatisfying. Some people I know felt this yesterday, even more so, and were admitting to feeling sad because of it. I've felt sad. It's understandable. (It's why I didn't have a cider last night; I wanted to wait until I was in a better mood before I drank. I'm in a better mood tonight.)

The cleaning, what there was of it, was one way for me to get stuff Done. Then after that was a late afternoon walk, past a large sign used to board up a Foster Road storefront. The sign says "Keep Your Heads Up."

Okay, I'll try.