Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

To use money well

As I said last month, I didn't win the MegaMillions. At all. I wasn't in it to win it, because no ticket, but I've kept imagining someone get That Much Money: what would you do then?

I'd give to charity. A lot. That much money should do good. I don't have the ego needs to create my own charitable organization ("My group, The Sixth Dimensional Plumbing Foundation, will pay for every household in the U.S. to receive a copy of the greatest movie ever, Richard Elfman's Forbidden Zone!"), and I would not want a charitable group under my own name to be potentially run badly, wastefully. I wouldn't need or want to reinvent the wheel, charitably speaking: so I'd be seeking groups that do charity work well. (Maybe I'd need at least a trust. Splunge Charitable Trust, you think that has a ring to it?)

But there'd be other uses of All That Money. I'd find reasons. I could imagine going to the diner a few blocks from where I live, a diner I don't even go to (I ate at it once), and say "I'll pay you to repair or replace your neon sign that keeps flickering like it's a David Lynch prop!" There. Fixed. Money can be used to fix things.

I'd be tempted to bring back certain things I miss, but I should resist that. I miss Big-Ass Sandwiches, a cart from 2009 to 2015 then a brick-and-mortar for a year, and it'd be tempting to tell Brian and Lisa Wood "Here's a gift, all the funds you'd need to recreate your restaurant," but they closed it for many reasons. It was here but now it's gone, and I miss it, but it's okay to miss it and it wouldn't be okay to try to recreate it. I also admit that I miss how the Funemployment Radio Network used to have streaming music shows, but a change in law made that prohibitively expensive for Greg and Sarah to do, so they dropped their network's music shows. I'd be really arrogant to say "This is enough money to pay those fees for 10 years; knock yourself out," because I wouldn't be the one doing the work.

(I would, though, want to give a large gift to the Belmont Goats. Make it easier for the owners to operate. It'd be a gift, purely that; I shouldn't buy goats, but I could support the goats and the goats' owners.)

Money doesn't solve everything. I know that. "Mo' money, mo' problems," said the Notorious B.I.G. I know that, too. It's nice to fantasize what good I could do with a lot of money. I finally know that.

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