On the soundtrack album, the opening teaser would be called "Shaq Attack"
Seeing Shaquille O'Neal in a suit on the sidelines of today's Heat-Lakers game (or Lakers-Heat or whichever way's the right way to list 'em) reminded me of something. So I present Poppy Z. Brite's reasons that Shaq should be James Bond.
The only flaw now is that after Poppy wrote this, people finally saw Daniel Craig in Casino Royale and, for the most part, decided, "Dude. He's a good Bond."
P.S. Disclaimer-y thing: Yes, I know the photo I linked to is from a game last month, not the game I saw today, but it gets the point across.