Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh


Thank absolute goodness that no one pisses coffee.

Preamble! That's what that line is, as I mention/admit something you almost certainly know: I'm awkward.

I went driving today. No particular place to go other than an ATM (many to choose from), a library branch (again, many to choose from), plus a doughnut shop (MANY) and a grocery I drove, and took a winding route through SE, NE, N and NW Portland, plus Beaverton, Aloha and the rural areas northeast of Hillsboro.

(The library, by the way, was due to my county library partially reopening to both accept returns and to arrange pickup of stuff on hold. I specifically drove to Midland on SE 122nd, the main East Portland branch to offer holds again, though more branches will offer this soon, including my branch come Monday. I didn't need to pick anything up, but I wanted to see a library with ACTUAL PEOPLE, to approximate how things were in The Before Times when a thousand Americans a day weren't dying from this f'ing virus. I was able to thank a library staffer, who was sitting at a table placed in the open front doors of the Midland branch. Felt good to do this.)

With no particular place to go, as Chuck Berry sang, I then wandered. But with one particular target, the approximate midpoint of my trip, the Raleigh Hills Sesame Donuts. I've gone there three times in the past three months. I want to support it. Got inside, stood to the side while someone more ready made their order, then made mine: large dark roast coffee with cream, a kolache (similar to a bagel dog but more pastry-like), and six doughnuts. I got out, sat down my car, took off my mask, and opened the coffee cup lid to add sugar. Then put the lid back on, but felt that it wasn't fully on...

...and I slightly, thankfully not too badly or it would've been a real mess, squeezed the cup enough that a little of the coffee dripped out. Me with no napkins. Oops.

Lesson learned at that point: I was able to use one hand, the not-splashed-with-coffee left hand, to put my mask back on so I could go back into Sesame Donuts and get a napkin. It was awkward, but doable. I leaned over after getting one loop onto an ear so I could then grasp the other loop and get it on my right ear. I'm glad no one was watching.

I CLEANED UP AFTER THAT. I'm sure you were worried. But a little later as I started driving again, winding through Beaverton and up to Hwy. 8 through Aloha to NW 185th Ave., near the Tanasbourne shopping areas and then north to Germantown Rd. and other roads through Rural Washington and Multnomah Counties, I managed to spill some more coffee. Into my crotch. It had cooled down, but even at full heat, it wouldn't have been the literal skin-peeling heat that led to that woman who sued McDonald's over her way-too-hot coffee (...oh, you ever hear of that lawsuit and think it was frivolous? The woman needed skin grafts because the coffee had been brewed about 40 degrees Fahrenheit hotter than what the maximum brewing temp was supposed to be, hot enough to cause instant, life-altering damage. Not a frivolous lawsuit at all. So no jokes using that premise.)

...where was I. Oh, spilled coffee. I thought, ah, crap, but lived with it. Minor annoyance.

Plus I already know I'm awkward.

Nice day for a drive, it turned out. Overcast and sometimes drizzly-to-rainy in a picturesque way. Plus I was out near the fields, on winding and often elevated roads like Skyline Blvd. along the wall of the West Hills. And my fellow drivers weren't misbehaving toooooooo badly. Small victories.

Now I'm home, with produce, WinCo bulk grits, doughnuts and warmth. All of which I hope I can keep from spilling on myself.

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