I'm not at my best. At least I'm being careful. With this year continuing to be A Lot, and a time when doing your best to be careful is a really good idea, I'm relieved I'm managing that. But yeah, not at my best. Not that productive. Cranky. Realizing I have the capacity to be an asshole, the way lots of others right now are being assholes, and working to avoid myself being an asshole.
Example: today I ran an errand to the airport. Beforehand I asked where I could park, since I'm furloughed and can't use an employee parking pass (I turned it in back in March). I got assurances from a Port employee that I could park in the Short Term garage and my parking would be validated. Not a big deal for $3 (the price of an hour), but I appreciated it. Until I got to the exit plaza's parking garage cashier who told me We don't validate for anyone furloughed. Also the cashier didn't know which Port employee I was referring to, when I'd been told the cashier would have been told about me. Part of me wanted to just get out of the car and act like I'd walk back to the terminal; I know the pedestrian path to do so from the exit plaza. Leaving my car blocking the gate. That was me thinking like an asshole. I didn't act on it. I paid and told the cashier "Take care," because damn it, even in difficult circumstances, I try to be a good person.
I'll try not to make the news by being an asshole, the way certain people we've seen have been.
And later I'll watch the 1978 film Invasion of the Body Snatchers and read more of the zombie horror novel Feed (by Seanan McGuire writing as Mira Grant), because things are prrrrrrrrrrrobably not going to get as bad as in those works.