Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

Mood Care

I've been writing the next poem. It's mainly pages of notes and a few lines I feel fairly sure are finalized and will be in the final poem, once it's done. For different reasons than with my Dana poem, this one is a little fraught. It tackles sad and frustrating issues.

A couple of days ago I was feeling sad. But sad in the wrong way to write anything for the poem, so I didn't (though I considered it). Looking back on that moment, I think I know what happened: at the time I was unlikely to get out of that mood. Writing then may have nuked my mood for the rest of that day, may have led to me going to bed sad, which I try (try) not to do. Writing something else, something that was trying to be less sadness-inducing, likely would not have connected to this poem at all. There was, overall, too great a chance that any writing I did then would not be helpful.

So I didn't write. I am writing today. I looked at my personal emotional weather and felt I'd handle it better now than I would have a couple of days ago. And I've made progress.

(One different than usual kind of progress: I remembered a poem I'd done where I still had the much different first draft of it, so I looked up that earlier draft and found a line that might become a line for this poem...or may at least inspire a line. So maybe a fragment of something I wrote years ago will fit into this current poem. We'll see.)

I want to be productive. I also want to be gentle with myself.
Tags: poetical

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