In early September, my longtime LiveJournal friend Alicia Snavely died. We were in each others' lives through both LJ and Facebook; we'd kept in touch both ways. She seemed to honestly enjoy blogging — I miss her blogging — and it was a treat seeing her in both places.
Now, of course, I'm not seeing her in either place. Except due to the Facebook systems and algorithms, which I am not going to pretend to understand, the link to her Facebook wall often shows up in the sidebar on my wall. Her name, her former place of employment — one she'd left and hadn't gotten around to updating as she did other work — and I see that and know she's not going to be adding anything there.
She's occasionally still updated there — friends and acquaintances and others fond of Alicia will post old photos of her and tag her, which shows up in my feed — but, again, by others, not by her.
It's an unwelcome frisson. It's a frustrating reminder. But dropping her as a Facebook friend, or as an LJ friend, feels disloyal. I haven't done that with her, or with Tracy (LJ and FB), or with Dana (FB).
Better the sad reminders than none at all, because there's still the chance for happy reminders.
That's one place my mind is at tonight.