Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

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"I've set off other people's gaydar before..."

I've been thinking...

And I'm quite possibly either overthinking this or under-thinking it, so I pose a question to those of you who are part of the GLBT spectrum: Was I being too flippant when I wrote this?:

Yes, I've outed myself (outed? outted? Hey, my friends who've come out of the closet, what's the correct spelling? Neither looks quite right...): I've listened to a LOT of Mr. [Neil] Diamond in my life.

The thing is, after I wrote that, I started to think I shouldn't have used the term "outed myself." And I owned up to that tonight, when someone asked me, based on that entry, if I was gay. First I answered "no" (adding "I've set off other people's gaydar before")1, then admitted that I'd been too cavalier last night. Coming out is a big deal. It's an important thing.2 It's about the power of both identity and honesty. And I used "outed" like a gag.

I actually haven't been privy to many coming-outs. Two of my cousins have come out (I found out after the fact both times; semi-long story, but telling it would make this even more about me); several of my friends (obviously) are out, I think all of them before I knew them; even the new-to-Portland DJ Mitch Elliott, now co-host with a DJ I like named Daria, publicly came out on-air. His friends and colleagues had known for years, of course, but he and Daria mutually decided it was both bold and right to make it known more widely. (They found a funny way to do it, too.) But generally my reaction to finding out someone's out has been first "Oh," and then "That's good." (And, usually, "That's actually not that big a surprise.")

So: In my ever-ongoing efforts to be a better person, I ask: Was I too cavalier? Honesty will be welcomed; meanness will be deleted (though I seriously doubt y'all would do that). Teasing's OK. (I once got teased by Caitlin R. Kiernan on her old phorum; she wrote "You can't be straight. Only gay guys can quote The Pet Shop Boys." Which would be news to Pet Shop Boys fans Don Geronimo and Mike O'Meara, but I digress...)

Curious, it's


1 I do have a documented man-crush on Jason Lee, but that doesn't mean he's the Lee I want to sleep with (I vote Amy Lee!).

2 I also, personally, have a big problem with outing others; I think it's counter-productive to the cause of getting the population at large to deal more intelligently with non-straight people.

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