Solicitors.
Might be time to go on the (f’ing f’ing grumble grumble) No Call List. I’ve yet to buy something solicited over the phone and I’m not going to start now. I however, do not want to have to say that over and over to those who call.
So my friends know, I’m screening calls again, so don’t be afraid to leave a message. I will definitely get back to you.
In the meantime, I’ll indulge myself with What I’d Like To Say To Solicitors:
* Get out. Get out while you still can. Save your soul.
* No, I don’t make the financial decisions in my household. Yes, I live alone.
* I will kill in your name.
* !Estoy enfermo en la cabeza!
* Can’t sleep. Clowns will eat me. Can’t sleep. Clowns will eat me. [repeat until s/he hangs up]
* [from the movie Psycho]: “Mother! Mother…oh, the blood! The blood!”
* ?Turl? Maz? Yog-Sototh? Skivs? Flague bur-tada-vad?
* Chris Walsh? Sure, I’ll get him. [put down the phone and go for a walk]
* [singing] “When I am king you will be first against the wall…”
* Do you sell monkeys?