Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

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Cranky (rambling, w/ potential TMI)

I'm being quiet. I'm also (as I've told octoberland) "in a weird headspace right now." I'm also also afflicted with stubborn rashes, a large one on my left arm and a small one in the crook of my right arm, that's lingered since Sunday. (I think I got it at the winery Saturday, during the wedding.) I need to get it looked at. And I need to work. At an office that I'm increasingly reacting badly to.

I'm really low on energy at the moment, and I'm sore and cranky, and I have loads to do.

So I'm less than sunny right now. I apologize to my friends. (I don't want to apologize to the people I don't like, but I like all of you who can read this...)

I don't want to rant too much about work, which is a big source of my issues right now, but I'm using the words "neurotic" and "toxic" to describe my office right now. Bad sign.

And I got my first "corrective counseling" yesterday, over substandard work by me. First warning ever on this job, over two-and-a-half years into it.

I need to do better.

I feel I have no incentive to do better.

I don't like being like this. I don't like being substandard. I don't like having not-enough energy to be truly supportive to my friends, several of whom have been through plenty of their own difficult crap lately. I want to be better, to myself and to my family and friends. I want to get back to being shiny and happy.

Wish me good luck.
Tags: work

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