Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh
chris_walsh

  • Music:

Rocks fall, everyone dies

ta-chis'to-scope, noun [from Greek tachistos, superlative of tachys, swift; and -scope] an apparatus for testing attention, memory, etc. by throwing images of objects on a screen for a brief measured period, a fraction of a second.

***

"Tell me what you see on the screen."

"I see a great hand, reaching from the stars..."

"Not the one showing the Babylon 5 marathon. Focus. What do you see?"

"I see...oh, no, they're scared and sad..."

"Who're scared and sad?"

"These foxes." [shouts at the screen] "It's OK, adorable foxes! You're safe! Those birds can't hurt you! You're much bigger than..."

"Is this to be an empathy test? OF COURSE IT'S NOT, I'M ADMINISTERING IT AND I KNOW IT'S NOT. Okay, they are foxes, and they're doing, well, whatever it is they're doing, so now what do..."

"OH NO!!!!"

"...yes?"

"The foxes overran that horse and that guy pulling it, and the horse, oh no, it reared up and there was this guy and this pretty woman riding it and they fell, oh no, they're getting hurt, the foxes are scared enough they're biting..."

"Everyone's on the ground now, then?"

"Yes! And, and, and, oh no the horse rolled over on that rock and OH MY GOD THERE WERE LICHENS ON THE ROCK AND THEY'RE CRUSHED NOW OH NO POOR LICHENS..."

"Hmm..." [writes on a clipboard] "Okay, 'Oh, no, poor, lichens,' phrase never uttered before finally getting uttered now. There. That was a success, wasn't it?"

"Uh..." [take several deep breaths, then looks again at the tachistoscope] "Oh, look, the pretty woman? She's picking up the lichens. She's...hey, she's gathering the crushed lichens, and she's petting them and she's rocking them in her arms, AWWWWWWW, that's nice of her! And she, hey, look! She put some of it in her cleavage, it can stay there for safe-keeping, that means she's, she's..."

"Lichenaceous?"

"Huh? Oh, no. That doesn't fit the meaning of the word."

***

This has been a true story the most random thing I've written in a long time. Strangely refreshing, that was...

Happy Rabbit Hole Day!
Tags: language, rhd
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