You see – I’ve tried to think of the proper term to describe the utter lack of basic intelligence that went into the making of 10,000 B.C. I flirted with the term… DAFT – but it just didn’t quite seem to be the right thump. So I went to Thesaurus.Com – Retarded and learned that I could use the following phrases: backward, birdbrained, defective, dim, dim-witted, dopey, dull, dumbbell, dumbo, dumdum, dummy, exceptional, feeble-minded, gorked (I like that one), half-witted, held back, imbecile, lamebrained, mentally defective, moronic, numbskull, opaque, pinhead, retardo, sappy, simple, simple-minded, slow, slow-witted, stupid, subnormal, touched, underachieving, weak or yo-yo.Profanity, insanity and descriptions of Hot Stone Age AssTM follow.
Frankly – none of those really feel right. You see… 10,000 B.C. is blissfully retarded.
I'm missing my job and I'm missing the airport.
Before the before times came to be known as "the Before Times," I was going to go to a thank-you dinner. At work. At Portland International Airport,…
There. Showered and dressed. Later, I'll eat, then go walking. Normally this would've been a work day. Which would have meant a uniform: a blue…