Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh
chris_walsh

I loved writing for this guy.

An editor I'm especially glad to have had is Lukas Kendall. He's a guy about my age who created Film Score Monthly -- first a newsletter, then a magazine, and now an online publication -- and became a CD producer, putting out great (and often obscure) film scores from the Forties through the Seventies.

He's also well-spoken (I liked speaking on the phone with him), good at writing, and prickly in a way I appreciate. And his writing could be...surprising.

Like the time in late '95 he posted to a film score fan forum speaking as The Hulk. This is taken from a printout I found while cleaning out lots of stuff, with footnotes added by me:

10 Nov 1995 08:20:06 GMT
HULK's BEST OF 1995


Puny composers. Hulk no like dumb boring soundtracks!

Things Hulk find mildly amusing. Hulk not smash yet:

Seven: Hulk like dark brooding Howard Shore. Hulk like confining aural environment.
The Usual Suspects: Arrgh! Plot make Hulk head hurt! Hulk like movie with real music. Hulk find temp track vaguely present. Hulk been there, smash that.
Dead Presidents: Hulk like main title. Hulk no like waiting whole movie for bank robbery. Hulk like Curtis Mayfield... rrrr... music by soulful black people soothe Hulk.
Dolores Claiborne: Hulk like composer that tries. Hulk not smash.
A Walk in the Clouds: Jarre stuck in time warp. Hulk like time warp!
Heavenly Creatures: Pretty! Hulk lonely.*
Virtuosity: Not Goldsmith? Hulk confused.

Hulk brain hurt. Hulk brain empty.

Things Hulk want to smash but find barely tolerable:
Judge Dredd: Hulk is law! Silvestri write cartoon, but use notes. Hulk let live for now.
Waterworld: Hulk like 15 seconds theme. Hulk miss John Williams.
Hulk smash rest. Hulk give particular emphasis to James Horner. Hulk not amused by puny Annie Lennox. Puny Americana! Puny bagpipes! Hulk expect better from puny Horner.
Hulk head hurt from Batman. Puny Goldenthal give Hulk headache. Hulk need Nicole Kidman in Hulk's bed.
Hulk smash Hans Zimmer. Maybe Hulk ghostwrite for Zimmer?**
Hulk want smash Mark Isham music, but Mark Isham music hide from Hulk. Mark Isham music turn invisible. Hulk confused.
GoldenEye make Hulk mad! Hulk find mere marginal improvement from License to Kill. Hulk no need license, Hulk smash! Hulk need James Bond for Hulk's entertainment. Hulk need James Bond that sounds like Hulk's James Bond. Madder Hulk gets, stronger Hulk gets!***
Hulk love John Barry. Hulk love John Barry in different way from Nicole Kidman. Scarlet Letter not amuse Hulk. Moviola 2 put Hulk in coma. Let Hulk conduct! Hulk need John Barry and James Bond at same time.
Hulk get opportunity hear Miles Goodman Indian in the Cupboard. Hulk has friend, friend get Goodman tape. Hulk like. Hulk sad.****
Hulk get promo copy Sudden Death. Puny Debney copy from puny Howard. Hulk already have Fugitive. Mulk smash puny Peter Hyams!
Hulk see Powder. Hulk bored. Hulk hope Jerry's son not around when director come over. Hulk think Jerry the strongest there is. Hulk think Jerry want Oscar #2 too much for own good.
Hulk miss Elmer. Hulk smash Joffe! Hulk miss Ennio. Hulk not sure proper target for smash. Hulk no care.
Hulk not hear more David Arnold. Hulk not smash yet.*****
Hulk see Wild Bunch in Cinerama Dome. Hulk like 70mm! Fielding make Hulk happy. Peckinpah make Hulk happy. Hulk miss Fielding, Peckinpah.
Hulk miss Rozsa... Hulk miss Fielding, Herrmann, North. All Hulk's friends leave Hulk. Hulk weep for future.
Hulk is strongest there is! Madder Hulk gets, stronger Hulk gets! Hulk have beaucoup reasons be mad!
Hulk want feedback!
Puny soundtrack collectors no match for Hulk!

Hulk

(Hulk try be funny for newsgroup. Hulk scared for reputation. Hulk scared alienate puny composers. Hulk trust composers have sense humor. Hulk know composers out there. Hulk hear composers breathing. Hulk sleep now.)

* Yeah, a 1994 film, but he didn't see it until '95.
** At that time in his career, Hans Zimmer had had other composers ghostwrite for him at times, as he sometimes had ghosted in the Eighties for his mentor Stanley Myers; for example, Mark Mancina of Speed and Tarzan wrote the bulk of the score for 1993's True Romance. Zimmer was getting better about crediting co-composers around this time, though.
*** Yeah, Lukas A) is a lifelong Bond fan and B) hated GoldenEye, especially the electronic score. As he wrote in the magazine, "Argh! No more cautious optimism! Eric Serra's score is an abomination and actually wrecks the movie."
**** Miles Goodman was fired from this film, his last with director Frank Oz; Randy Edelman rescored it.
***** While Kendall later was muted about Arnold's 1996 score for Independence Day -- he compared it to that car Homer designed on The Simpsons, with all this cool stuff thrown together into a mess -- he really liked StarGate and Arnold's Bond work. I also think Kendall and Arnold are friends or at least acquaintances now.
Tags: music
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