(Written 'cause I have nothing profound -- or even profound-ish -- to write about Thanksgiving):
...If sushi comes from a supermarket, it's not truly sushi.
...Saying "I'm sorry, but" exponentially decreases one's actual chance of being sorry.
...You can make anything sound like a double entendre if you add "if you know what I mean." The Briggs Corrollary: it's even more likely to sound like a sick joke if, like Joe Bob Briggs, you say "if you know what I mean, and I think you do." (Sometime I can tell y'all the moment that made me say "I laid that Alaska Pipeline, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.")
...I can think of more things later. (And hey! You can, too!)