Because I find it bizarre that they apparently wrote Tolkien fanfic:
Mine's a tale that can't be told, my freedom I hold dear....and not especially in-character fanfic, either.
How years ago in days of old, when magic filled the air.
T'was in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair.
But Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her, her, her....yeah.