Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh
chris_walsh

Say the word and be like me!

Quotes are good. To be more exact, certain quotes are good for making me smile, whether they’re from movies, TV shows, books, comic strips or whatever.

Because it amused me to compile them, behind the cut is only a few of such quotes that “do it” for me:

Night Court:
* “No eat! Bathroom!”
* “You are woman, I hear you roar.” “You are weasel, I see you crawl.”
* “BUBBA…The Benevolent Union of Bald-Headed Bailiffs of America.”
* “I never thought I’d live to say this, but would you please put your top back on?”

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones:
Drug dealer: “Hey. You wanna buy some Death Sticks?”
Obi-Wan Kenobi (not looking at him): “You don’t want to sell me Death Sticks.”
DD: “I don’t want to sell you Death Sticks.”
OWK: “You want to go home and rethink your life.”
DD: “I want to go home and rethink my life.”

Clerks:
Randall: “I’m not going to miss what’s probably going to be the social event of the season.”
Dante: “You hate people!”
Randall: “But I love gatherings. Isn’t that ironic?”

Coming To America:
Disguised prince Eddie Murphy to his future wife:
“I am Akeem. I have recently been placed in charge of garbage.”

This Is Spinal Tap:
[Almost any line. Seriously. But to take three particular moments, mime-Billy Crystal chewing out mime-Dana Carvey behind the scenes (because seeing them as mimes just seems so wrong), the reaction to the sign saying “Puppet show and Spinal Tap,” and of course the “Stonehenge” aftermath…]

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home:
“You’re suggesting we go back in time, pick up a couple of humpback whales, then bring them forward in time, drop them off, and hope to Hell they tell this probe what to go do with itself?”

The 1997 Academy Awards:
[Beavis and Butthead – yes, Beavis and Butthead – walk out to present the Oscar for Best Sound Effects Editing. Tommy Lee Jones, by the way, is in the audience looking unimpressed:]

Butthead: “Sound effects editing can mean the differenth between a boring chick movie and a cool flick with lots of explosions and stuff.”
Beavis: “Yeah, like Under Siege 2!”
Butthead: “For ins-tance, when I slap Beavis, sound effects editing creates the illusion of pain.”
[Butthead slaps Beavis]
Beavis: “AGH!”

Mad About You:
Paul, as he and Jamie find dog Murray standing on a table:
“This is new.”

Ruthless People:
* “Ah, gee whiz. I was becoming a real aficionado of death-camp cuisine.”
* “My wife. Late for work.”
* “Am I understanding this correctly? I’m being marked down? What is this, the bargain basement? [crying] I’ve been kidnapped by K-Mart!”
* [The visual gag of a block-long parade of cop cars behind Judge Reinhold]

The Fifth Element:
“Multi-Pass.”

Ghostbusters:
Egon [totally deadpan]:
“Sorry, Venkman. I’m terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.”

Moonlighting:
“Hello. This is Orson Welles. Tonight television broadcasting takes a giant leap…backward. In this age of living color and stereophonic sound, the television show “Moonlighting” dares to be different. It dares to offer a monochromatic, mono-tonic hour of entertainment…but not just any. In a few minutes, the image on your screen will change…to black and white. Nothing is wrong with your set; I repeat, nothing is wrong with your set. Tonight’s show…is an experiment, one I hope you will enjoy. So gather up the kids, the family dog, Grandma…and lock in them in another room. And sit back and watch this very special episode of “Moonlighting.”

[Note: This is almost Orson Welles's correct quote. I can’t find the full quote on-line. Anyone know it for sure?]

The comic strip Get Fuzzy:
“Robert, you are so wrong philosophers weep at the sound your voice.”

Jack Mathews’s book The Battle of Brazil:
“You can’t drink in a gun club.”
Tags: star trek, star wars
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