Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

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Saw this item in Willamette Week's "Best of Portland '08" issue:
BEST BATHROOM READING -- Impromptu coordinations of human creativity are an endearing side-effect of living in a city of like-minded weirdos. The mysterious profusion of groutfiti -- puns on the word "grout" written between the tiles of public restrooms -- is a fine example of this phenomenon. These unassuming corners of Portland hold a symphony of semantics: The water closet at the World Famous Kenton Club -- the Grout Wall of Kenton -- displays such gems as "I'm in a grout-patient program" and "Grout Balls of Fire." In the men's room of Powell's City of Books you'll find literary allusions like "Sometimes a Grout Notion" and "Much Ado A-Grout Nothing." Such groutrageous puns are all over town, and if you haven't noticed them before, you will now. -- Joseph Watts
They're, um, in Eugene too. In a bathroom stall in Henderson Hall in Bean Complex at the University of Oregon. We had that stall tricked out decorated: women's underwear ads, scripts of Monty Python sketches (like "The Martyrdom of Saint Victor"*), and other niceties. And in the tile-lined wall, we wrote groutfiti.

I'm still proud of my contribution: SHOUT, SHOUT, LET IT ALL OUT -- THESE ARE THE THINGS I CAN DO WITH GROUT.

This is the ONLY TIME I'VE EVER WRITTEN GRAFFITI. Please don't arrest me.
* The rudeness, under the cut:
And it came to pass that Saint Victor was taken from this place to another place, where he was lain upon pillows of silk and made himself to rest himself amongst sheets of muslin and velvet. And there stroked was he by maidens of the Orient. For sixteen days and nights stroked they him, yea verily and caressed him. His hair, ruffled they. And their fingers rubbethed they in oil of olives, and runneth them across all parts of his body for as much as to soothe him. And the soles of his feet licked they. And the upper parts of his thigh did they anoint with the balm of forbidden trees. And with the teeth of their mouths, nibbleth they the pointed bits at the top of his ears. Yea verily, and did their tongues thereof make themselves acquainted with his most secret places. For fifteen days and nights did Victor withstand these maidens, but on the sixteenth day he cried out, saying: " fantastic! Oh...this is terrific!" And the Lord did hear the cry of Victor. And verily came He down and slew the maidens. And caused their cottonwool bugs to blow away, and their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly. And Victor, in his anguish, cried out that the Lord was a rotten bastard. So the Lord sent an angel to comfort Victor for the weekend. And entered they together the jacuzzi. Here endeth the lesson.
Tags: language, portland

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