Let your rod roar out of your pants
(Allegedly sent from Mosso's Pharmacy of Latrobe, PA, by the way)
Dear "Mosso's":
Okay, I'm having serious junior high "hide the boner!" flashbacks, same as any former teenage boy remembers. Accidental incidental tumescence (having inconvenient erections at inopportune times, I mean) was the bane of our existences; we were terrified of our man-parts being obvious under our pants. How much worse would it be if THEY MADE NOISE???!!!!
Therefore I am not intrigued by your ideas or wishing to subscribe to your newsletter.
Sincerely,
(You're right,