A chocolate Big Ben. That is not a euphemism for anything, you sickos.
This may be the heaviest potato ever. Grown by a Lebanese farmer.
(Both of those are from Greg Glover, still of 94.7 Alternative Portland. Go you, Greg! Keep your job!)
And now the news: A man drives into a Tigard, Oregon hair salon. Money quote: "The wreck left a huge mess of broken glass and salon products in its wake."