Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

Voice Post: You've NEVER thought this about receipts

361K 1:50
(no transcription available)

I’m going to share a little thing I wrote that, when I previously shared this with shadesong, earned the reply “You’re a weird kid”: it’s called Receipt Porn.

Receipt pornography.

Who knows what goes on in my accordion folders where I keep my old receipts? They go back to 2000, with some latter-months-of-’99 receipts in a hanging folder from when I started my receipt-saving habit. I open those paper receptacles and the slips of paper denoting purchases simply sit there, but

Imagine the rubbing that commences upon closure. Or even better, what happens inside recycling bins? So much chance for variety. Rippling slickness of fax paper, rubbing against the tiniest hint of bumps from the raised ink, getting friction from the rough fibrous feel of, ooh ooh, erasable bond. Yummy. So much kinkier than even the see-through plastic windows on envelopes…

Obviously, you wouldn’t get the same orgiastic group-grope variety in a receipt folder. But those slips of paper try. Their ends curl around each other, exploring (without fear of paper cuts; they’re already paper!) the edges and the flat surfaces of their fellow records of purchase. They use gravity to settle into each other’s company. They need not worry about gusts of wind scattering them; inside a folder there’s none of the explosive panic of paper caught in a breeze. There are no distractions like that. And so their filthy imaginations can get plenty of exercise.

Come to think of it, the receipts do indeed look kind of faded and stained when I face them…

© 2004 by the version of Christopher Walsh who was around in 2004…
Tags: voice

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