(Which may be marked by a green eclipse*)
Be sure to see how a survivor equips
And make sure your shovels have good grips
Admit they'll get rust after each one rips
Into zombie flesh -- the arms, the chest, the lips --
Take care re: ricochets in case one skips
'Cross the head or the buttocks or the mouth as it drips
Blood, pus, and bile, plus salsa for chips
From their undigested lunch 'ere apocalypse
Know that each one who will live is each one who outstrips
Them in running like mad (oh! He's fine 'cause he zips!)
There will be no time to speak in ellipse-
Ses, but I overuse them anyway so I'll drop 'em like snips
Of hair from my haircuts, from when we still could use clips
But we can't anymore 'cause, duh, ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
So give up on being able to get your scrips
And still have the ability to generate quips
BDSMers may find new uses for whips
-- These are just a few of the possible tips
In case of zombie apocalypse!
* Usually "blood-red eclipse" would be expected here, but A) those actually happen and B) again, c'mon, such a colored moon would be expected in the End Times. Green is more unexpected! And thus more wrong!
© Christopher Walsh, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Christopher Walsh (chris_walsh) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.