Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

  • Mood:

Liberation anniversary

Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of me ending my hospital job. The Friday at this time last year, Friday, June 20th, 2008, was my last day.

Long story, short: the job situation had been getting harder to deal with -- while, conversely, leaving me with less to do. I was less productive, or, shall I say, I had less chance to be productive, and I was frustrated with the conditions under which I had to work. I ended this before it made me crazy. Crazier. You might know what I mean.

It's been a fascinating year since then. Sometimes I was deeeply hunkered down, doing as little as possible and just thinking (I've had lots to think about); I've done the job hunt hustle; I've gotten closer to friends and family who helped me through this weird time; I've helped friends through what's been a financially difficult time for so many of us; I've read when I could; I've been stressed, but have been more aware of my stress and have coped with it; I've traveled long distances to be with friends, which helped with the getting closer to people; and I've written a little more, and got plenty of reminders that hey, Chris, WRITING HELPS YOU.

I feel like it's been a cleansing year. I think I've been more honest with myself than I'd often been before, and sometimes that honesty was difficult and uncomfortable, but it was like I burned my way through a couple of, shall we say, bullshit barriers. I hope I have. It feels like I have. Did I lay the foundation for being a better person? I hope so. I also hope I've laid the foundation of being a person who can be in relationships, as in more-than-friendship relationships. It's like I got more capable of, and prepared for, being (eventually) in love. And I remember the period earlier this year where I realized Maybe I haven't been ready for that before. Because somehow I feel more ready for that now. And more ready to admit to whomever I next feel that way about that "Hey, I feel that way about you." And as I've told some of you before, I could feel an opening-up of potential, of possibility, when I thought that thought. A thought I needed to think, based on how it affected me.

Life's a work in progress. I like being reminded of that. (Even watching the good film Three Kings reminded me of that.) And I feel like I've done good life-work this year. Good. I needed that life-work. I need that life-work. I think I can do that life-work.

Bless you all for being here in my little corner of the 'Net.

  • A Pause In Life; a Pause In Blogging

    Stuff’s happened. Two big Stuff’s. Wait, the grammar’s wrong. I don’t really care, though. I returned to work (finally) on Thursday, March 30th.…

  • Working. It’s working.

    Starting last Thursday, I’ve been going to work. I’m now wrapping up my first weekend of this job. Of, you could say, Job 2.0, because I’m back as a…

  • This deserves large text

    I’m about to work again. I’m headed back to valet at the airport. I may have more to say tomorrow.

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.